Coming Home
by RSparkles
Summary: They had never talked about their divorce and had no idea what the other person had felt our still felt after the divorce. Barney had never thought of talking about it before, but now that he realized he was not the only one who had a hard time after the divorce he thought it would be best to talk about it


**I was not happy about the finale and I've had this story in my mind a very long time. Hope you like it. **

She was all alone on the beach watching the stars in the sky. She remembered all the good memories she'd had with her best friends in New York. She remembered the reason she was willing to call New York her home. All the happy memories with her best friends Lily and Tracy and of course all the awesome memories with her only true love Barney who never wanted her back. All the memories were supposed to make her smile, but all the good memories was no longer happy. It made her sad to think of. She'd had such a great life and now she was here all by herself looking at the stars wondering how it would be if Tracy was still here. She took a bottle of scotch that she'd brought with her. She drank as much as possible hoping the memories would fade away. The memories with Tracy and Barney was the worst ones. Tracy because she knew she would never see her again and Barney because she knew he would never look at her the same way as he did when they were married. She felt so alone, all her friends had someone. Lily and Marshall had a real happy family. Ted had his children and Barney had Ellie. Nothing was the same anymore. It was 14 years since her divorce with Barney and she'd been used to be alone again, but it wasn't until Ted came with The Blue French Horn a couple of weeks ago she started to realize what she really wanted. She'd denied Ted and promised she wouldn't tell anyone. Tracy was a good friend of her, she couldn't start to date Ted after Tracy's death and she didn't love Ted that way. She'd never loved Ted like that and now she was scared she'd ruined her friendship with him. Tears filled her eyes and she finished the bottle of scotch. She looked out in the ocean. Everything seemed to be so easy for some people, but for her nothing was simple. The easiest thing seemed to be the way out of this depressing life. She missed the days with Barney and she knew she would never get those days back. Her life used to be good, but it would never be good anymore.

She hadn't noticed that her feet were moving. She was walking towards the beautiful ocean. The moon was the only bright thing on the sky that made her smile. She thought of how easy this would be. No one would miss her. She stepped out in the cold ocean. The waves were huge and the water reached her hips in no time. She was about to let the waves take her when she felt a hand drag her away from the ocean.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

She'd been crying so much it was hard for her to answer. He was staring at her with a really concerned look and she could hear on his breath that he'd been running. "Tell me, were you just taking a night swim?"

"I...I...I don't know" She broke down and cried. She covered her face with her hands. She could hear her own heartbeats. She was scared, she'd really been so close to take her own life, to drown herself and never come back. What had she been thinking?

He took her hand and dragged her into his arms. It was the first time in years she'd felt his arms around her and it felt like coming home. The problem was, what was he feeling? His heart was beating fast and his breath was heavy. "Don't ever do that again." He sounded so desperate when he was talking. He was scared, but why? Why did he care?

"Why do you even care?" She asked and looked him in the eyes. He brushed her hair away so he could look her in the eyes properly. The moon making it possible to see his expression. "I care about you, Robin." She didn't answer. She just sat down on the sand and looked out in the ocean again, but this time she wasn't alone. He sat down next to her, holding her hand in his "Tell me, why did you do that?"

"I told you, I don't know."

She could see he was looking at the empty bottle of scotch. "You were drinking, huh?" She nodded and looked down in the sand.

"Are you depressed?"

What kind of question was that? Of course she was depressed. She'd spent her life alone 14 years now, 14 years alone. She thought she would do just fine alone, but Ted made her change her mind and after that night he'd tried to get her back she knew she wasn't happy, but Ted was not the one who would make her happy. She didn't answer him she just broke down and cried again.

"Robin, is this about us?" Barney asked and took his arm around her and dragged her closer to him. She nodded quickly and he took his hand on her face and brushed some tears away forcing her to look at him. "Maybe we should talk about it."

They definitely should. They'd gone 14 years ignoring the topic. They had never talked about their divorce and had no idea what the other person had felt our still felt after the divorce. Barney had never thought of talking about it before, but now that he realized he was not the only one who had a hard time after the divorce he thought it would be best to talk about it. Better late than never. He let Robin calm down before any of them started to talk.

She looked out in the ocean and remembered the day in Argentina 14 years ago. "I gave you and out that you took. I thought maybe if that was what you wanted it was for the best and...and...and... you started to bang so many bimbos," she was sobbing while talking, she choked the next words, "you have no idea how much you hurt me." She cried and Barney decided to wait and see if she had more to say and she did have more. "You did a perfect month and you made someone pregnant. You got Ellie and you were so happy it made me realize you wanted to be a dad, something you couldn't become with me. You would never be 100% happy with me." Barney understood why she thought so, but everything she said made him understand what a mistake they'd made. He pulled her closer to him. "I had no idea that's how you felt." He let her cry on his suit. He didn't care. She was one of the most important people in his life.

"The divorce was hard on me too, you know." She looked at him, "how?"

"I know I shouldn't have banged all those bimbos, but they were all rebounds. I tried to forget, but you have no idea how hard it was. I went 4 years thinking about you every second. I wondered what I did wrong in our marriage that made you want to give me an out and the only reason I took it is because you gave me it. You clearly wanted it and it hurt me so much. Ellie saved me from those feelings. She's the best thing that ever happened to me. I stopped the womanizing for good, which I know I would never go back to if we hadn't divorced. Ellie made me forget all the pain the divorce caused me, but I promise you I still had them and to be honest I still have them, I just don't notice them as often as I did, but there are times I break down and cry when I'm alone." Barney was holding her tighter in her arms. Tears started forming in his eyes. "I have Ellie and I'm so happy, but I always felt like someone's missing. I didn't feel like that when we were married, 'cause I didn't know I wanted a child. Actually, I didn't want a child and I'm sure I could live life without a child if I had you all this time, but now I can't live without Ellie. The problem is that I want someone else in my life and hers, but I never thought that person wanted to be in our lives."

Robin was shocked to hear what he just told her. She buried her face in his shoulder "I gave you an out because I thought you wanted it, I guess I was wrong." He stroked her back and pulled her even closer. "Yes, you were." They were sitting like that on the beach for a while not saying much. Just keeping each other company.

Barney pulled away form her slowly, so he could see her eyes. He didn't know what made him do it. Her eyes were shining in the moonlight and he couldn't help but wonder how it was to kiss her. He cupped her face and pulled her into a passionate kiss that lasted a couple of seconds before he pulled away. She looked at him stunned. "Would you like to try again?" She never thought he would ask. She wasn't able to speak. She nodded and smiled a real smile for the first time that day and he pulled her into another kiss. This time it was more frantic. They deepened the kiss and he held her tight. He leaned over her and she dragged him down with her. They spent the night at the beach. He held her in his arms all the time. He didn't want to let her go this time. She belonged with him. He didn't know how much he'd missed holding her before now. It felt like coming home.

* * *

She'd almost made the biggest mistake of her life. The thought that she ever considered drowning herself and that she was so close to do it scared her. She wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for him. The only man that ever made her want to settle down, the only man she ever loved. They'd married once before, but they were now getting married again and this time they would be a family. Barney, Robin and Ellie.


End file.
